07/10/2016

What Makes You Happy? #10

I swear I can't find any.

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She is not being cooperative with herself these last few weeks. It still feels cloudy; the sun doesn't peek through, but it's not raining anyway. It is something in between. She even thinks that she almost had a mental breakdown after she screamed to her pillow last night. It didn't last long but it was a very, very painful experience. She might be pissed off over annoying things in a daily basis, but never scream like so much in her life.

Her pillow is stained with mascara for crying over and over. Her throat hurts so bad that she made weird face while swallowing her drink. And then she stopped. The way she stared at nothing and thought about, oops she didn't even know what she was thinking about. She said that she wanted to take some pills to calm her down. She looked like... depressed over nothing. There is such a joy of being painful. What is this all about? It doesn't make any sense.

She feels sick physically and mentally, maybe. She doesn't value things the way she used to be. The word 'Smile' written on her mirror, doesn't urge her to smile anymore. The nightmare she had the previous night affects the entire day. She has this indescribable anxiety of things. And then someone said on her laptop screen, no one believes that your legs are broken if they look just fine. Her injury is invisible, and isn't easy to relate to.

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Wow, here comes the orange juice. Let's go easy for a second.

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